Monday, June 30, 2008

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson

By far this is one of the most moving and inspirational quotes every penned in the history on mankind. It may be up for debate, however, the truth is that Marianne Williamson speaks what humanity feels. It is no wonder that the number one fear in the World is not death, but public speaking. To stand before people and proclaim knowledge that they do not have, subject yourself to criticism, and possible embarrassment is unbearable for the majority of the people in the World.

Likewise, many people do not step out of the shadows because they fear the truth. Those to take on Truth carry the responsibility that goes with Truth. Truth is not just speech, but it is action. It takes something to go against the grain, to standout from the crowd. Starting a business was the same experience for me, yet once I embraced that this is my Life and it is an opportunity to liberate myself and others, it became something to embrace, love, and cherish. The Truth is that who we each are and what we allow to be shown to the World sometimes conflict. And withholding who you are withholds something from the World. Withholding your vision, talent, personality, drive, innovative spirit, and helpfulness serves no one, not even you. Those around you remain in the same thought patterns and rituals until someone breaks the mold.

It might just be you that sets someone free. The Truth is:

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Play Big, Play Bright!

Misguided Quotes and other Myths

When we think about love and relationships we reflect on all types of myths, old wives tales, and quotes. It is interesting to look at how humans react to love. A four lettered word which has many a definition, been the well-spring of man songs and fights, cause confusion, and has more people chasing after it than money. People have shown that they can do without money, we barter for what we need and want. And people live in poverty with very little money. However, the same cannot be said for love. Yes, love and money seem to be cousins; kissing cousins.

One quote has seemed to remain a staple of love lore, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it never was yours to begin with." It has be attributed to Fiona Baldwin, who information is missing in the vast Internet superhighway. Unfortunately, this quote has been passed to generations who have embraced its well meaning sentiment, yet have taken little time to debunk such a quote to create something that is empowering and supports healthy, growing, and stable relationships. Why has this one spent so much time in the annuls of the human love bank?

In relationships we spend time with people getting to know them and so we think. The truth is that the majority of the time in relationships is not spent getting to know the other person or even spending time with that person. It is spent showing them what you want them to see or need them to see and then attempting to make them into what you need or want. There is a famous monologue from William Shakespeare's As You Like It, that encompasses the idea brilliantly:

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts,"

We play part in Life without thought to who were are playing them with and end up in a relationship were we believe we have love. Mostly because there is misguided idea of the meaning of love. That is another subject all together. To grasp the myth of this quote is to understand one simple thing, you have the power to get what you want, but you must be clear about what you want and need, then be willing to stand up for it.

Conversations about love and relationships are had regularly at work, at home, in the grocery store; among friends, family, strangers, and in religious settings. Let it not be forgotten, on the Internet, which brings out an interesting statement. The point was made that if you let someone go and they come back maybe they had nowhere else to go, not because they belonged with you. Human nature is to seek comfort, care, and be in a place where we can get the necessities of Life. If you are no longer in a healthy relationship and you have to go find one, that can be hard, and the tendency is to go back to what you know, disregarding the signs, to be taken care of and needs met.

Situations in Life are no different than relationships. They comeback and due to a comfort level, an inability to deal with it appropriately, or a lack of recognition it is let back in to place where it does not belong. And the tendency is to resort to resignation, cynicism, doubt, and fear. "Well I guess this is the way it will always be", "I've tried and tried and nothing helps", "God must mean for this to be this way" and surely, there are more. And it is the truth, only if you sign the contract on it. To accept something blindly without looking at it from all angles puts you in a position where you have given away your power.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it never was yours to begin with... a statement of powerlessness, doubt, cynicism, and defeat can be turned around and used as a guide to living powerfully:
  1. Love freely: Allow who you are to be about love. Love is unconditional, as well as about well-being for you and others. It is not love to have yourself be injured or suppressed to allow another to be free.
  2. Be Aware: There are people and situations that will reappear. When you are aware of who your, what you want, and the issues others bring to the "party" you can freely choose to take part or leave it alone.
  3. Forever Only if You Say: You can have a situation or a person in your Life forever, only if you accept it.
  4. Lose Control: No really, lose control! You have no control over what others say, do, how they act, react, or do not act or react. That is the truth.

Rewrite the quote and take back to Power in your Life to have the relationships that will support you. You can join my Free NO GAS CLASS on Tuesdays "Unleash the Power" to explore the power you have to produce the Life you want now. Register at www.unleashthepower.eventbrite.com.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Find Your Groove and Stick with It!

Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength. Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"

"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied. Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.

"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"

"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered.

"First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm."

The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

(from)Bits & Pieces
August 15, 1996
Economic Press, Inc.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Rain on Me: You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet!

Another day of walking outside, I love to workout outside. My trick is to alternate taking the jumprope and hand weights with me then go different routes to avoid boredom! Sometimes there is anelement that it uncontrollable that creeps in, the weather. Rain in particular can pose a dilemma. Just like the weatherof Life.

Today as I stepped out of the house the wind hit me, it was cool and relaxing. As I slipped on my headphones and pushed play I knew this was going to be an interesting day, the gray in the sky gave the first clue. Not even 100 steps into my walk I felt rain, just a little. And kept walking. The first thing that came in my mind was "I've done this before!". A month prior the rain came, I chose to keep going, for forty minutes I stayed in the rain. It was a choice then and a choice this time. Each time something comes up in Life it is a choice how it will be dealth with. The difference is that each storm is not the same!

Each day is not the same, just as the challenges of Life are not the same. We go through the death of relationships and people, changing jobs, moving, birth of children, loss of health and maybe dreams, and the list can go on. Yet, we wake up the net day, a new day. The only thing that is the same in the day is you. And depending on the day, you are not the same. The trick is to learn to deal with the challenges and move forward. What happens when we stay in the perceived defeat of a situation is that we cut off possibility of growth, Life, and opportunity. All situations can be transformed into an opportunity.

Think of yourself as a seed. There is no seed that can grow without water! Quick research revealed that even plants that grow in the desert need to be saturated in water to germinate. Water carried vital nutrients and oxygen (Life) to the seed so it can grow. Now the facinating thing about seeds are they have no idea what they are supposed to be just that they need water and light. People are no different, except we fight against our dreams because there might be rain in the form of people who do not believe in you, how daunting the task looks, and what we think about ourselves. Seeds are planted and have no idea how big they are supposed to be so they do not get stopped, discouraged, depressed, or stay still when planted. Do you know what they do when planted in a small pot? Outgrow it!

What do we do when we really do outgrow our pot? We get scared and attempt to find ways to stay in the pot. That could be to avoid failure,who knows, only you can answer why you would attempt to stay somewhere that you no longer fit. The best parts of your Life may be waiting for you outside of that pot. See, a sequoia or redwood tree seed do not know that they are meant to grow to be 165-280 ft. they just grow how they are supposed to grow. No matter where they are planted they just grow. Yes, there are factors that can distort the growth of the sequoia, but it does not change the fact that the sequoia is meant to be 165-280 ft. tall! Until something happens to stop the growth it just keeps growing and one day it needs to be replanted.

Maybe you need to be replanted in new soil. It could be a new job, relationship, house, friends, thought patterns, routine, or vehicle. It all starts with your mindset. You were created to be fabulous, wonderful, lively, inspirational, and to grow. Don't stop now due to a setback, disappointment, lack of patience, or an unhealthy way of thinking. Transform your mind, transform your situation, transform you're Life! The best is yet to come!

"Many of life's failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

Thomas Edison

Friday, June 13, 2008

Who Wants to Be a Millionairey Anyway?

"Millionairey" was used by the grandmother of a friend when she was talking about getting money from a network marketing company. When I heard the story it amused me and I began to understand how our older generations think about things, to a point. A few days ago, while going through The Secrets of a Millionaire Mind, I was reminded of that word "millionairey" and the mindset that went with the thought.

Why would you NOT want to be a "millionairey"? We all have our own stories about what it means to have money. A participant in a program I had the privilege of coaching had a story about how rich people "should" use their money and resented the ways they thought the money was being spent. The great thing was that once the story was unfolded there was freedom around people who are rich, even creating relationships with them. Again, we all have our own stories, it could be that they are mean, have stolen to get it, do not share enough (usually with "us"), have to work too hard, are never with their families, are flashy, do not deserve it, and a whole litany of other things. What there is to look at is why you do not seek to be a Millionaire yourself! God, knows you do not want to be one of THEM.

The fabulous thing is that getting money will only reveal more of who you already are to the World. If you are a stingy, cheap, "poor" person, guess what? You will be a stingy, cheal, Millionaire. If you think people are after your money at your middle class job, guess what? You will surely think that people are after your money if you are a Millionaire. Being a Millionaire only brings money, not character. Character is built over years, not in seconds. Being a Millionaire may be scary because of your character or way of being and story.That is it. The good new is that you can choose now your way of being on the road to Millionaire status.

So, why not be a Millionairey? "What would my family say?", "The government will take most of it", "It's too much work", "That's too much for me to handle", "People will only like me for my money", and "I'm comfortable". Those are only a few that came to mind. A one point someone told made mention that they were not willing to buy a BMW because they were afraid that someone would break into it, steal it or the rims. That same limiting mentality can be seen in their thoughts about money. Being a Millionaire means something, only what you make it mean. What do you choose to make it mean?

I fight with the Millionairey mentality and the questions of what others will think. But the first thin to look at is what it means to me. "Millionaire" to me means freedom, expression, philanthropy, adventure, fun, business, family security, and legacy. Sure, there are many other things, however, those are the ones that come to ind right away. Those are the things that matter. Whether I have a million dollars or not there are always going to be people who talk about me, work to be done around money, taxes to pay, and a level of comfort to maintain. Yet there is a choice to be made. We have free will and choice. What do you choose?

To choose Millionaire takes four things:

  1. Recognition that your mindset is not in line with the wealth you have a right to obtain.
  2. Choice of being wealthy, better yet, a Millionaire.
  3. Declaration to yourself and another of your choice to become a Millionaire
  4. Commitment to daily take the steps and behaviors that will lead to being a Millionaire.

Millionaires are committed to being rich. Millionaireys find reason not to be and consistently validate them. Which one are you? You choose. Who wants to be a Millionaire?

Unleash Your Life.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

So What? Don't Give Up Now!

My quest for the body of Laila Ali has been in progress for a while. And this morning I felt the push, excitement, and anxiety of it all. After walking with weights for 40 minutes, I came into the house, got something to drink, and began participating in Total Body Sculpt with Gilad on FIT TV.

As I participated, it came to me that I had been here before! Literally and figuratively, two years prior I worked out daily; running 3 miles and 3 times per week I participated in spin classes. And now, I find myself at the same place again. What happened? I gave up. It got to be too much, instead of making it a part of my Life it was something else "to do". At the moment that came to me, I was on the floor doing crunches just as I had done before. My spirit, said to me "Don't you give up now!"

"Many of life's failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." Thomas Edison.
Often times, we spend our time looking at how far we have to go or what has to be done to get to the end of our vision or achieve a goal. When we do that we end up defeating ourselves. Sometimes it happens when we are within reach of the goal, yet we do not know it. Surely Thomas Edison did not know how close he was to creating the light bulb when he did it; he only has a feeling that it was close. When Charles Brooks was working on a new way to have streets swept, imagine what it would be like if he had given up before creating the street sweeping truck. Our world would be a different place if people simply gave up when they were close to reaching their goal. What drove them to continue, in spite of the challenges?

Challenges are not unique to anyone that is simply a fact of life. How challenges are dealt with happens to be unique to each person and it begins in the mind. Jack Canfield, one of the authors of Chicken Soup for the Soul, was featured in The Secret. He talked about how his Life was with family dysfunction, hard times, what he had been taught by parents about money, etc. all the things that make up our "hard luck" stories. The poignant moment in his appearance came when he stated all that "story" and stuff is "So What?". "So What?" your parents were divorced, "So What?" you failed last time, "So What?" they do not like you, "So What"? Every person has challenges to deal with in Life, challenges are not unique, it is your mindset about those challenges which determines how you will come out one the other side. There are four ways to be when going through Life which if taken on in all areas of Life, at all times, will guarantee that you will meet and overcome challenges.

1. Be Diligent: Never give up. Diligence is giving consistent effort to accomplish a goal. Take the stand that there are going to be challenges no matter what happens. And that challenges are neither good nor bad, they just are a part of Life. Be consistent and continue, NEVER GIVE UP!

2. Be Patient: Patient is "bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like". How is that for a definition? Know that things are going to happen and take them as a part of the journey. Being patient builds your ability to be calm and refrain from complaining. The phenomenon of attraction is true whether you like it or not. The more you complain about something the more get more of that something. Be patient, refrain from complaining. Be patient.

3. Be Faithful: Faith is not Belief! Faith is active, belief is passive. Put motion to what you want. Use your faith, step outside of the box and your comfort zone! Make each day a day to stretch closer to your goal. Have faith that what you are setting out to achieve will come to pass.

4. Be Focused: What are you focused on? Be focused on the things that you want to happen. Do not get overwhelmed by the things you cannot change. Take on the laser view of where you are headed. Focus takes knowing what you want and being attracted, paying attention, and taking action around it. What are you focused on? Line your focus up with what you want!

There is a way to "be" going through Life. The word "be" is defined as "to exist or live, to take place; to occupy a place or position". You are able to exist or live and occupy a particular place in whatever challenge you face. You determine what that is going to be. So, I'll be walking each day, eating fruits and vegetables, and hanging out with Gilad, until I see Laila Ali emerge in the mirror, once again!

I can't give up now! Don't You Give Up Now!


Monday, June 9, 2008

There is a Limit!

As a coach I enjoy spending time talking about what is possible and how to achieve dreams. Manifesting what you want is a conversation that can get into hocus-pocus kind of stuff. Being on a Law of Attraction call today it occured to me that there are limits to what you can achieve. The limits exist in your mind, they exist in my mind.

T. Harv Eker worte a book called Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. There is a conversation about a "financial thermostat". Donald Trump is reported to have gone bankrupt to the tune of $975 million dollars in 1990, no whether or not he actually did is a source of many questions. The point is that whether or not he did be was in debt to the point it was even speculated! What Donald Trump knew was that he may have been down, but not out. Here we are in 2008, he has written a book called The Art of the Comeback (1997) for a reason, Trump: Think Like a Billionaire: Everything You Need to Know About Success, Real Estate, and Life (2004), and is now reportedly worth $3 billion. Trump has set his "financial thermostat" to BILLION, not million, or thousand, or hundred! He cannot be a thousandaire, his thermostat does not even register "THOUSAND", unless is being multiplied by "MILLION" or "BILLION".

Our thermostats can be reset, just like in a home. Most of us never think about our "thermostat", we often inherit ours. There are those that transend the setting. How do you reset it? Resting the thermostat begins within. We must reset our inner thought patterns and ways of Being first. Checking what we think, challenging what the things we have been told are true or false, and testing the waters of Life for self. A thermostat can be set on automatic, which is how we usually go through Life. Now, the reseting of the thermostat only happens when someone conscious of the internal temperature chooses to alter it! Who can alter it? YOU. The only limit that is set is YOURS.

Limits can become overcome by stating it. In my training it has been called declaring. Declarations are announcements made with authority with the express intention of manifesting and proclaming a choice. We do it everyday without thinking about it because it has been such a part our lives. Making a declaration usually involves other people. And most people resist letting other poeple in on the Life changing, thought altering things of Life for fear or resistance to being accountable. I, too, am guilty as charged. When we release limits in all areas of Life we begin to reset the thermostat of Life.

The last link to resetting the thermostat is two-fold using the words of Life and speaking with people who use words of Life. Words of Life are those words that speak encouragement, perseverance, accomplishment, accountability, and drive. These are things that forward what you are up to, they are words that push you closer to your goal, they leave no doubt that you are moving forward, and they keep you focused on what you want to accomplish. There are hurdles to every goal, however, it does matter what you say to yourself and what you allow to be said to you! Check to see what you say that limits you and who you listen to that limit you as well. Rest your thermostat with the words you say, hear, and those who surround you.

There are limits to everything, the limits that we set. Reset the thermostat!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

King Solomon Unleashed It!

When I woke up this morning, I thought the same things I've been thinking for the past week, "I should be getting up to walk right now". Then, I proceeded to get a little more sleep, turn on the television, and "rest". As a person who takes pride in coaching people to success, it was my day to coach myself to success. Don't we rationalize our own actions well enough that it all seems like the truth!? Well, I went out to get my exercise donning my shorts, shoes, and long sleeve shirt.

When I returned, I sat down ate breakfast and opened a magazine that featured an article entitled "Lessons form the Richest Man Who Ever Lived," by John C. Maxwell, DM. Who is the richest man who ever lived? First, let me say that I was reared in a Christian family, by a divorced single mother of three. My father was more spiritual than religious, without a doubt. Yes, I believe in God, at the same time I cannot be considered a Bible totin', fire 'n' brimstone, hallelujah, Christian. My relationship with God is defined in one word faith. And I've said that to say, the article was about King Solomon who ascended the throne of Israel at the age of twelve, around 974 B.C. The story goes that God appeared to Solomon and offered to grant him one desire. Solomon was concerned for his inexperience and ability to rule, he asked for wisdom to lead the people of Israel. God being impressed by Solomon's unselfishness blessed him with wisdom and wealth. His wisdom, wealth, and success grew beyond his imagination.

Solomon has been seen as a King who was wise, wealthy, and successful because of his diligence in all he did. Ruler from allover requested his wisdom. In the article I saw that there are areas of Life in which I have not been diligent. I've had money and I have not had money. I have had love and lost love. I have had success and I have lost success. However, what I understand is that I have the power to bring it all back to me. Yes, the law of attraction and all of that, at the same time, it is being diligent.

Maxwell made three great points that as a personal and business development professional, I tell my clients and practice personally:
1. Wake up to Reality. Procrastination is the best friend of Some Day and the cousin of Never Ever. We think that we have time on our side. The fact is that if you are not living you are dying. Each day we are closer to one or the other literally and figuratively. Literally, we get closer to death. Figuratively, each day is a choice to either unleash our destiny or cover it up in shame, self-doubt, ignorance, or fear. "Days of inaction add together into unproductive weeks. Weeks of idleness accumulate as meaningless months and wasted years, which are the fruitless products of life filled with regret and sorrow." Give your dreams the opportunity flourish, you may surprise yourself that they can become reality.

2. Define Your Vision. If you have not created a vision for your Life, where are you going? It is easy to just live, go to work, come, home, watch TV, eat, go to bed, and get back up and do it all over again. Yet, you may feel trapped and suffocated. What is your vision? Epictetus wrote "First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." It takes first having a vision, then creating the plan to get there. Vision sparks initiative and action. Define your vision, unleash your Life.

3. Effectively partner with others. John Donne, a English preacher and poet was born the third of seven children. By the age of ten, he experienced the death of his father and three sisters. Much of his early life was spent in poverty, depending on the generosity of wealthy friends. It was him who said, "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent." it is entirely understandable where he might have received the understanding that in Life you need others to make things happen. There is no one person who has their dreams come true without first including others in their dreams. It is important to develop a loyal, responsible, and talented group or friends and partners. Having "social capital" will rocket you to greatness!

Living life with purpose and diligence with what God has given you begins your journey to richness, wisdom, and wealth. What I have learned is that to get where I want to go I must first seek wisdom, be diligent in following God-given vision, stay rooted in reality, and involved others in developing our lives. That is what Unleashing Life is about!