NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH: Foster Parents Can Make the Difference

Bridging the Gap 
You will hear stories on the new about foster parents who abuse children, take their per diem and use it for a variety of things other than the children in their care, and a million other things that would lead you to color the whole group with a paint brush which does not fit every case.  In America there are more than 510,000 children and youth in out of home foster care ^[1]. It would be preposterous to think that the majority of them are living in subpar homes with strangers. In fact, as of September 30^, 2006 of the 510,000 children in foster care 24% (122,400) are placed with relatives. Yes, the majority of children are placed in non-relative foster homes of people who want to make the difference for children. And this is my thanks to the ones who bridged the gap for me.

There is no way to sugar coat the beginning of life for my son. Born about 10 weeks early and possibly exposed to drugs in utero, at birth weighed in at 2.8 pounds and 15 inches, received “bag and mask ventilation”, was  incubated on multiple occasions, and spent the next 2 months in the hospital. Due her inability to care for him, he was released frohe hospital to a couple Alfonzo and Dorothy Smith. As an older couple they had already been foster parents to more children than they could count, not mention being the parents of six children. Only a special couple would say, “yes” to a child diagnosed with “apnea of prematurity, respiratory distress syndrome, anemia, and physiologic hyperbilirubinemia”. Most parents get overwhelmed thinking about taking a child home with all of that going on, much less the child of someone else. Yet, that is what Alfonso and Dorothy did that day. And for three years following that day.

For a large portion of that three year period they transported him to and from visits whether or not his mother came. Due to the diagnoses he received upon discharge, he was in occupational therapy which required appointments, which they were sure to make regularly. It sounds simple; however, they were foster parents of other children in the home as well. Beyond being foster parents to him they often helped their own family of grandchildren, parents, sisters, brothers, and do not forget children. The day I walked into their home and saw that little boy I was immediately taken by his friendliness, his playful demeanor, and of course, he was cute. Cuteness, they had no hand in, but the other things can be traced back to their loving nature, attentiveness, willingness to care for him, and general disposition as a couple.

You see, when the Smiths chose to become foster parents they took it as a service to the children and the families. It was a commitment. Not like we see today where people choose to commit just for a time, the good times. When you commit to a child you commit for an uncertain amount of time and through an undetermined situations. As a result of their commitment, I received a child who had not been bounced form home to home, was surrounded by family and love, automatic Grandparents, and people with whom there is bond like none other. The transition to my home was not easy for either of us because he had bonded with them. He still calls them regularly and to him they are Grandma and Grandpa. The day I picked him up to bring him home, was the greatest day of my life. And for them it was bittersweet. After seven years as a parent and many conversations with them, it is clear that they bridged the gap for him to find a family and for me to have an amazing child.

Foster parents can make the difference in the life of a child, for the rest of their life. If you want to know more about becoming a foster parent the National Foster Parent Association is a wonderful resource. However, to find out the specific requirements and resources in your State go to Child Welfare Information Gateway. This page will allow  you to select and receive contact information for your State.  




*To support National Adoption Month we are supplying gift certificates to a local organization, Foster Care Support Foundation. You can assist in this effort by making a donation here.