The Wealth of Southfork

7 Things No One Told Me About Wealth

Throughout my life I have seen wealth in certain ways. I loved watching Falcon Crest and Dallas, now that was wealth. OF the two my favorite was Dallas. Who did not want to live at South Fork? South Fork was this 200 acre lusciously green piece of land with horse stables situated on the property. The home itself boasted 4,769 sq. ft., a classic staircase, gorgeous rooms, a pool, and a dramatic foyer. That had to be “the Life.” Not to mention, the money. Oil, oil, everywhere means money. At my tender age, all of that looked like wealth. And I believed it. Southfork represented wealth, but wealth is not all it is cracked up to be. Wealth is not horses, 200 acres, 4,769 sq. ft. of house, a classic staircase, and all the aforementioned things. In fact, it is elusive. It can be smoke and mirrors.

You may know that Southfork is real place situated in Plano, Texas. Few people know that the Southfork we think of was originally called Duncan Acres and it was the second home of the Ewing family. The original home of the Ewings was the Box Ranch. Did you know that the interior views we all saw were from the Swiss House, which included my favorite staircase? The Swiss House interior became a part of the new set in Studio City, California. None of that stuff was real. Not even the wealth. The idea of wealth is elusive. It can be smoke and mirrors, if you let it. Remember all the relationships gone awry, the fights, adultery, backbiting, and money grubbing? Is that wealth? If so, I do not want anything to do with it.

No one sat me down to share the definition of wealth. Over the years, my definition has transformed from strictly money to a broader definition. Thank goodness for the opportunity to transform my definition, but there are 7 things no one told me about wealth which should not be missed by anyone.

1. Wealth is Not What You Have Been Told. According to the American Heritage Dictionary the wealth can be defined as, “an abundance of valuable material possessions or resources.” What do you value, possess, and have as a resource. That is your wealth.

2. Be Careful What You Do. Your career is a source of wealth whether you like it or not. No matter where you are when it comes to your career or job, it is a resource for something else. Do you like your work? Is it a place where you can grow? Remember your career or job is a resource for something.

3. Almighty Dollar is Not the Whole Picture of Wealth. Of course, money is a part of wealth. It is a resource, if used correctly. Are you free of anxiety or worry around money? Can you do what you want and do the things that are important to you? Money is a resource for something too.

4. Fun in the Sun Make a Difference. Regardless of what you think a part of wealth is the ability to have fun. Activities have a way of renewing your spirit, reminding us of how free life can be, and resetting our compass. Do you make enough time for yourself and other people in your life? Fun is a resource for something too.

5. Eat Your Veggies. Too often we forget about our health and well-being. Unfortunately they are inexplicably tied together. You cannot have well-being without health or vise versa. If I might be so bold as to say that without your health or well-being nothing else is possible nor matters. How do you work, spend time with friends, etc. without it? Your health and well-being are a resource for something too.

6. Personal Growth is Not Just Praying. No one person has the answer of how you should grow or develop through life, however you can continue to push yourself beyond what you already know about who you are in many ways. That might be through spiritual development, activities that expand your limits, or engaging in conversation that challenge your current beliefs. No matter what you think now, personal growth is a resource for something too.

7. That Someone Else Can Truly Be Significant. Uh, oh! Last but not least, is the “significant other” conversation. No, I do not advocate running out to find yourself someone just for the heck of it. Being in an intimate relationship takes something which many people do not want to offer. It takes being vulnerable, free of past resentments, willing to love, and to share the inquiry of life with someone who may not always agree with you. It expands you in ways you may never expand. Relationships are a resource for something too.

Defining wealth in the modern age, has been a matter of splitting hairs or even expanding the definition. If you are running after 6 figures in your bank account you may miss out on the wealth all around you. If you are only taking in the wealth all around you like relationships, fun, and food, but missing the payments that will allow you to be secure in your life, you too are missing out on wealth. It is a balance that can be achieved by taking the time to assess where you are in all areas of life then taking action to develop them. You can start your journey here by taking the Personal Assessment and completing the Financial Fitness Assessment. You can build wealth in your life beginning today.

Not Your Average Love Story Most little girls, as they are growing up, dream of the white picket fence, the husband, and having two children. That is not my story, it did cross my mind, but somehow I knew my family would never be the normal one. My Love Story, began when I saw a little boy at a foster home in October of 2000. When I tell people about meeting him, it sounds like a made for television drama. See when you adopt, the child is born in your heart. The winter began to set in on Cleveland, Ohio; I worked in the Department of Children and Family Services as a social worker. The first children I visited were two girls placed in a foster home. Prior to this case, I had none. In fact, I had a choice between 2-3 other cases and chose this particular one. Single, college graduate, no children, those were my basic stats at the time. As I sat on the couch of the foster parents’ home there was a tiny boy hiding behind the curtains playing peek-a-boo with me and laughing. Soon after his antics with the curtains he crawled up on the couch, sat next to me, and just looked at me. He moved closer, and then closer, eventually he was on my lap. In a moment of freedom I said, “I’m gonna take you home with me.” About a year following that day, his foster mother told me he was available for adoption. Due to making monthly visits to the home for the other children placed there, I had grown attached to hi, and always wanted to know how he was doing. When told me, my heart stopped and I got worried that I would never know how he was or what happened to him. So, I made the choice to adopt him. Single, college graduate, no children, those were my basic stats at the time. Little did I know that day would be a day to change two lives. Jamil, officially, became my son in March of 2003 at the age of 3 years old and our love story is still being written. Adoption, to me is no different than having a natural child in many ways. I question my fitness as a parent and whether I made the “right” decision. And there were times, and still are, when I thought he would be better off with someone else. He would have two parents, a bigger house, a better yard, a dog (like he begs me to get), and other siblings in the home (like he begs me to get). And were it not for the support of other family and friends, we would not have made it this far. He is what I live for now. He is the Love of my Life. When I think about him not being in my life, it is hard to fathom. I received a call from my sister in California, whom he stays with for part of the summer. At the time was nine years old, he was asking about his birth Mother, and I became worried. To let you know, he is has always known he was adopted; he has an album with the names of his birth parents, knows he has siblings and has bet all but one of them. It has never been a conversation that was off limits for him. With that said, she had questioned him on what he would change about his life and he said, “nothing”. He expressed that he loves me, he is happy to be adopted, and he would not change that at all. Neither would I. At every juncture, it has always been my intention to have him be well adjusted. Unlike birth children, Jamil has questions about life that speak to who he is in a different way. Why he is not with his birth family? What happened that his parents were not able to care for him? He has a list of questions of which I can not and would not attempt answer for him. However, as his Mom I can be there to support him in becoming what he wants to be, developing him for the future, and accepting himself. Isn’t that what being a parent is about anyway? Still single, still a college graduate, one child, those are my basic stats. He was not born from me physically, but he was born in my heart. And this is not your average love story. Are you considering becoming an adoptive parent? There are plenty of helpful resources available, listed below: Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption National Adoption Center National Council for Adoption AdoptUsKids Adoption Resources Child Welfare Information Gateway Courageous Choice Adopt America Network Children Awaiting Parents Comeunity Comeunity Resource Listing Children Awaiting Parents

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself.”

~Henry Ward Beecher

Understanding “A Standard of Excellence” involves understanding the words “standard” and “excellence”. Words are often used with little thought given to their true meaning. We throw around the word “love” so much that it has lost its meaning. We “love” coffee, our pets, that jacket, those shoes, and even people we have barely known a minute. It stands to question whether we can have “A Standard of Excellence” without having a true understanding of what it is.

A standard can be defined multiple ways. At one point a standard was a banner carried during times of war, it served as a rallying point, or emblem to gather the troops. It can be defined as a personal flag, one of a royal family, or organization. “Something set up and established by authority as a rule for measure,” is another definition. All of these would be appropriate to use at different times and give an idea of what a standard could be. For our purposes just about all can be applied in different aspects.

More often than not we are given standards for things by an authority. A standard ruler is twelve inches measuring a foot, a standard work day is eight hours, standard pregnancy is said to last for nine months, and your standard date is dinner and a movie. These standards were set by an authority, we do not know who yet we follow them readily. There are even standards set for what people should eat each day created for us. Someone created the standard quantity, weight, extent, duration, value, or quality and we accepted it. We accepted it unconsciously giving no thought to our own ability to create something different for ourselves. Most of us live unconsciously off of and by the standards set by others. We can raise the banner, flag, standard of our own Life. Two last definitions to take note of deal with structure, support, and stability. Standards give us those three things; the question is “to what standard do you hold yourself?” If your standard is excellence then the next step is to find out what it means to be excellent.

Excel, the root word of excellent, comes from the Latin word excellere meaning “to rise, project”. Sounds like we have passed “standard” before getting to define excel or excellent. To excel is to surpass in accomplishments or achievement, to be distinguishable by superiority. Superiority that is not arrogant or egotistical. This superiority speaks for itself, there are no words necessary, it has integrity, is confident, well put together, and moves with purpose. Excelling is going beyond a stated or implied limit set by an authority or established by a custom or tradition, and even past achievements. To excel one must push further than what is asked, transcending what is thought, moving past the norm to reach another level, outdoing your own past, and creating competition. Competition where there is only one person in the game, You. Excelling is continual. It is perpetual. There is no place called Excel City. It is a verb. Breaking through the ceiling called standard, status quo, or good enough creates excellence. It is a mindset, a place where you can live perpetually through excelling, being in motion, moving past yesterday; it takes motion to create excellence.

You are the authority which creates how you will measure the quantity and quality of the time given to tasks, people, and things. You say what a priority is, has value, and the quantity of money, time, and effort given to things in your Life. Only you can exceed standards set by authorities and yourself. Only you can push yourself past the baseline you have created. To have Life worth living, excelling must be one of the stones on which you build all aspects of your Life.

Set a "Standard of Excellence" in intimate relationships, with family and friends, in money management, with your health, in keeping your home, in dealing with and in your community, in communication, in your business, and see how things begin to come alive in your Life. Raise the Standard. A Standard of perpetual motion, outdoing self to the next level daily – that is the Standard of Excellence. Go beyond the norm, be distinguishable, be excellent.