NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH: Chicago Student Offered $1 Million In Scholarships

 Children come to the attention of child protective service agencies for a myriad of reasons, from different situations, and a multitude of backgrounds. Often older children available for adoption are left in foster care, unadopted, and in need of life skills to be productive citizens.

*Every year, approximately 18,000 youth will emancipate — or "age-out"— from the foster care system when they reach age 18 or finish high school. Youth in foster care often do not get the help they need with high school completion, employment, accessing health care, continued educational opportunities, housing and transitional living arrangements. Studies of youth who have left foster care have shown they are more likely than those in the general population to not finish high school, be unemployed, and be dependent on public assistance. Many find themselves in prison, homeless, or parents at an early age.

 The following article comes from Chicago, it highlights that not all children who are in "the system" or "age-out" follow the status quo.

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Aug 13, 2009 5:49 pm US/Central

CHICAGO (CBS) ―

A lot of kids are getting ready to head off to college and, it's a great accomplishment.

CBS 2's Dorothy Tucker talked to one Chicago student had a much longer road to go before he got on the right path.

"I got over a million dollars in scholarships. It's very exciting," said Derrius Quarles.

He received $1,150,000 to be exact. Quarles is a graduate of Kenwood High School who was offered $755,000 from nearly a dozen colleges, which he turned down. He accepted $355,000 in scholarships and will now attend Morehouse College. He earned all of this while being a ward of the state.

"My father was killed in this city when I was four years old and I was taken away from my mother shortly after that. My mother had a drug problem," he said.

To say he has succeeded against huge odds is almost an understatement. Quarles credits his success to his determination to go to college, his ability to accept his past, and not use it as an excuse.

"I had to come to accept what happened. I had no part in it, in my circumstances. But it is my responsibility to. It's all about how I'm going to overcome that," he said.

He's not only an inspiration because of the painful past he's overcome, but as a million dollar scholarship baby Quarles is also an example of how hard work can pay off for any student.

Quarles began searching for scholarships when he was a sophomore. He says he applied to more than 40 and quickly learned the essay was key. He didn't just write about his past. Most of the time he wrote about the time he joined the Kenwood Swim Team nearly drowned.

"To give the reader a sense I gained a lifelong lesson from that one experience, I think that tells someone about you and your character," he said.

While the essay is key, it helps that Quarles has a 4.2 GPA, got a 28 on the ACT, and had a counselor like Lynda Parker who was honored to write a recommendations for a student she knows will meet his future goals.

"He really made it happen when all the stats says it shouldn't. He could have given up. He could have just said I'm not supposed to make it, but instead he said 'no I can and I will' and he did," said Parker.

Quarles plans to pursue a career in medicine. He leaves for Morehouse College in Atlanta on Saturday.

(© MMIX, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)

*To support National Adoption Month we are supplying gift certificates to a local organization, Foster Care Support Foundation. You can assist in this effort by making a donation here.

Not Your Average Love Story Most little girls, as they are growing up, dream of the white picket fence, the husband, and having two children. That is not my story, it did cross my mind, but somehow I knew my family would never be the normal one. My Love Story, began when I saw a little boy at a foster home in October of 2000. When I tell people about meeting him, it sounds like a made for television drama. See when you adopt, the child is born in your heart. The winter began to set in on Cleveland, Ohio; I worked in the Department of Children and Family Services as a social worker. The first children I visited were two girls placed in a foster home. Prior to this case, I had none. In fact, I had a choice between 2-3 other cases and chose this particular one. Single, college graduate, no children, those were my basic stats at the time. As I sat on the couch of the foster parents’ home there was a tiny boy hiding behind the curtains playing peek-a-boo with me and laughing. Soon after his antics with the curtains he crawled up on the couch, sat next to me, and just looked at me. He moved closer, and then closer, eventually he was on my lap. In a moment of freedom I said, “I’m gonna take you home with me.” About a year following that day, his foster mother told me he was available for adoption. Due to making monthly visits to the home for the other children placed there, I had grown attached to hi, and always wanted to know how he was doing. When told me, my heart stopped and I got worried that I would never know how he was or what happened to him. So, I made the choice to adopt him. Single, college graduate, no children, those were my basic stats at the time. Little did I know that day would be a day to change two lives. Jamil, officially, became my son in March of 2003 at the age of 3 years old and our love story is still being written. Adoption, to me is no different than having a natural child in many ways. I question my fitness as a parent and whether I made the “right” decision. And there were times, and still are, when I thought he would be better off with someone else. He would have two parents, a bigger house, a better yard, a dog (like he begs me to get), and other siblings in the home (like he begs me to get). And were it not for the support of other family and friends, we would not have made it this far. He is what I live for now. He is the Love of my Life. When I think about him not being in my life, it is hard to fathom. I received a call from my sister in California, whom he stays with for part of the summer. At the time was nine years old, he was asking about his birth Mother, and I became worried. To let you know, he is has always known he was adopted; he has an album with the names of his birth parents, knows he has siblings and has bet all but one of them. It has never been a conversation that was off limits for him. With that said, she had questioned him on what he would change about his life and he said, “nothing”. He expressed that he loves me, he is happy to be adopted, and he would not change that at all. Neither would I. At every juncture, it has always been my intention to have him be well adjusted. Unlike birth children, Jamil has questions about life that speak to who he is in a different way. Why he is not with his birth family? What happened that his parents were not able to care for him? He has a list of questions of which I can not and would not attempt answer for him. However, as his Mom I can be there to support him in becoming what he wants to be, developing him for the future, and accepting himself. Isn’t that what being a parent is about anyway? Still single, still a college graduate, one child, those are my basic stats. He was not born from me physically, but he was born in my heart. And this is not your average love story. Are you considering becoming an adoptive parent? There are plenty of helpful resources available, listed below: Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption National Adoption Center National Council for Adoption AdoptUsKids Adoption Resources Child Welfare Information Gateway Courageous Choice Adopt America Network Children Awaiting Parents Comeunity Comeunity Resource Listing Children Awaiting Parents

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself.”

~Henry Ward Beecher

Understanding “A Standard of Excellence” involves understanding the words “standard” and “excellence”. Words are often used with little thought given to their true meaning. We throw around the word “love” so much that it has lost its meaning. We “love” coffee, our pets, that jacket, those shoes, and even people we have barely known a minute. It stands to question whether we can have “A Standard of Excellence” without having a true understanding of what it is.

A standard can be defined multiple ways. At one point a standard was a banner carried during times of war, it served as a rallying point, or emblem to gather the troops. It can be defined as a personal flag, one of a royal family, or organization. “Something set up and established by authority as a rule for measure,” is another definition. All of these would be appropriate to use at different times and give an idea of what a standard could be. For our purposes just about all can be applied in different aspects.

More often than not we are given standards for things by an authority. A standard ruler is twelve inches measuring a foot, a standard work day is eight hours, standard pregnancy is said to last for nine months, and your standard date is dinner and a movie. These standards were set by an authority, we do not know who yet we follow them readily. There are even standards set for what people should eat each day created for us. Someone created the standard quantity, weight, extent, duration, value, or quality and we accepted it. We accepted it unconsciously giving no thought to our own ability to create something different for ourselves. Most of us live unconsciously off of and by the standards set by others. We can raise the banner, flag, standard of our own Life. Two last definitions to take note of deal with structure, support, and stability. Standards give us those three things; the question is “to what standard do you hold yourself?” If your standard is excellence then the next step is to find out what it means to be excellent.

Excel, the root word of excellent, comes from the Latin word excellere meaning “to rise, project”. Sounds like we have passed “standard” before getting to define excel or excellent. To excel is to surpass in accomplishments or achievement, to be distinguishable by superiority. Superiority that is not arrogant or egotistical. This superiority speaks for itself, there are no words necessary, it has integrity, is confident, well put together, and moves with purpose. Excelling is going beyond a stated or implied limit set by an authority or established by a custom or tradition, and even past achievements. To excel one must push further than what is asked, transcending what is thought, moving past the norm to reach another level, outdoing your own past, and creating competition. Competition where there is only one person in the game, You. Excelling is continual. It is perpetual. There is no place called Excel City. It is a verb. Breaking through the ceiling called standard, status quo, or good enough creates excellence. It is a mindset, a place where you can live perpetually through excelling, being in motion, moving past yesterday; it takes motion to create excellence.

You are the authority which creates how you will measure the quantity and quality of the time given to tasks, people, and things. You say what a priority is, has value, and the quantity of money, time, and effort given to things in your Life. Only you can exceed standards set by authorities and yourself. Only you can push yourself past the baseline you have created. To have Life worth living, excelling must be one of the stones on which you build all aspects of your Life.

Set a "Standard of Excellence" in intimate relationships, with family and friends, in money management, with your health, in keeping your home, in dealing with and in your community, in communication, in your business, and see how things begin to come alive in your Life. Raise the Standard. A Standard of perpetual motion, outdoing self to the next level daily – that is the Standard of Excellence. Go beyond the norm, be distinguishable, be excellent.

Find Your Groove and Stick with It!

Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength. Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"

"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied. Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.

"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"

"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered.

"First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm."

The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

(from)Bits & Pieces
August 15, 1996
Economic Press, Inc.